An Evening with Q Youth Foundation at ICALA



Jean Decay in Blue Suitcase | Photo Credit: Amy Zapata

I am making time to celebrate joy in these difficult times. Earlier this year I was part of a remounting of theater works workshopped by the community of Q Youth Foundation

I've been a fan of Q Youth Foundation since attending one of their readings at Holy Grounds Café in 2015. Ana Bernal, the founder of Q Youth Foundation introduced their community, and I sat through some of the most incredible short stories I had heard in forever. 

I remember feeling a buzz in the air; that feeling creative people get when they attend a show or a reading and get inspired to write at the same time.

Flash-forward: December 2019. Ana Bernal asks folks to get involved with the January 2020 performance at the Institute of Contemporary Art, Los Angeles (ICALA). I sign up. Then I thought, oh but I haven't acted in almost two years. What is this going to be like? Between being pregnant and working with youth, I spent most of my evenings directing actors and video editing. 

But I carry inside me a motto I developed in the sixth grade, and it is - Why Not? The motto helps me take chances.  

My son was 9 months old at the time, and he witnessed me submitting my details. He smiled and grabbed my arm, and I thought to myself...okay, here we go. 

Let me tell y'alls, if there is ever a stress or doubt in the Q Youth Foundation community, it gets squashed quick. There is such a high vibration in the spaces they occupy and the people who work with this organization. 

Me, Brandon English and Janice Robinson.

My self-doubt was nurtured back into health by my director, Brandon English, and I got to work with the amazing Janice Robinson. It was like God just kicked me back into the field and screamed, You'll be fine just throw the ball around! So I did.

Our three rehearsals happened at night. Simone Nibbs wrote a very sexy and funny piece of work, so we played, explored, danced, took up space and it felt so wonderful to get into character again. Especially someone like Flor who just owns her space. 

But I am not going to lie folks: not performing for two years straight does something to the brain, and it desperately wanted lubrication if ya know what I mean. I needed a jolt. Also I was directing a short play (Sala de Amor y Guerra) written by Elvia Susana Rubalcava at the same time, and my mommy brain was overloading to maximum capacity. The night of the performance I walked in nervous, late because of baby stuff, and was instantly greeted by good vibes. We ran through it once, and I messed up. Bad. Like really bad. I stopped performing and asked for line like five year old at a sugar plum recital. I could see Brandon's eyes widen, and I wanted to go hide in the bathroom, but I stayed with it and trusted that the words would come. They did. We continued. After the run through I kept thinking, did I bite off too much? Was I going to mess up the night?  Am I not cut out to perform after two years of directing. My head was spinning. Then I took a deep breath. 

You know the lines, silly! 

Your scene partner is phenomenal. 

Just breathe and look at your surroundings. New space. New faces. No problem.

I need help. I requested it, and that's hard for me folks. I am not usually into displaying my vulnerabilities. Community stepped up to support me and we ran lines and did grounding exercises. I was ready.

And boom, bam, splat - after killer performances by Jean Decay, the actors of Flower of Anger by Edwin Alexis Gomez, and Maia "VIK FLOYD" Villa we were up. Thankfully Vik's performance cleared the space with fearless spirit, and I kept riding on that wave when I stepped onto the stage. I escaped into a world that Janice, Brandon and I had been creating together as an intimate team within the confines of a black box and brought the tissue from that world into a big white gallery space in the middle of Downtown Los Angeles. I could hear people breathing as I flirted, bend over, kissed, and touched my breasts. It was hysterical, sexy, super fun, and it was over in about ten minutes. Ah the life of an actor.

Janice Robinson, Q Youth founder - Ana Bernal, Me.

I want to take this time to shout out my scene partner Janice Robinson, who's professionalism and talent always made me feel at ease and made the performance so gratifying from start to finish. Janice is an incredible talent who does this work 24-7 and should be on everyone's radar because this human being is going far, amigx! It was an honor and a pleasure to work with such a giving and talented performer. Thank you, Janice!

Janice Robinson and I. Meep!

Finally, support Q Youth Foundation and the work they do with the LGBTQIA+ communities. Please visit Q Youth Foundation at www.qyouthfoundation.org to learn more about Eastside Queer Stories and their participation in festivals and original works all over Los Angeles. They're always looking for writers and artists who want to grow and develop their craft. And once you're in the family - you're there for good. Thanks Ana and everyone involved with the organization! Godspeed. 

___________________


Performance:
January 15, 2020
Plays:
Flower of Anger, written by Edwin Alexis Gomez and directed by Abe Zapata Jr.
The Sacrifice, written by Simone Nibbs and directed by Brandon English

Performances:
Maia “Vik Floyd” Villa
Jean Decay



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